How To Deal With Angry People

 This week's article is about dealing with angry people. I was running a course last week which was largely about building good relationships with clients and it involved a number of role plays where something had gone wrong and the client was annoyed with the consultant. This caused problems for several of the participants, who were really uncertain about how to handle angry clients.

On the basis that this is something many people find difficult, I thought I would share some of my own tips with you.

TIP ONE

If someone is angry, let them sound off and calm down before you try to deal with the situation. Unless they get really abusive or threaten you, it's best to let them get it off their chest. Once they have run out of steam, it's much easier to handle things.

Don't try to interrupt them and certainly don't say " I think you should calm down " as this is like throwing petrol on a smouldering fire.

TIP TWO

In the face of anger, your " fight or flight " responses will kick in. In other words, you will feel the urge either to become aggressive yourself or to run away. Try not to shout back or to burst into tears. Stay calm, count to 10 ( or 20 ), take deep breaths and stay in control.

TIP THREE

Maintain neutral but assertive body language. What one earth does that mean? Well, it sounded impressive.

I think I mean, don't avoid eye contact and look down at the floor and don't shrink physically. But don't take an aggressive stance either, just sit or stand up straight, keep eye contact and try to look calm and attentive.

TIP FOUR

Listen carefully and try to really understand what is causing the problem. As they calm down and you can have more of a dialogue with them, start to ask questions to get specifics about what is wrong. Show them you are interested in getting to the root of the matter, not avoiding it.

TIP FIVE

Acknowledge their right to be angry if they have a point. For example, if you have made a mistake or failed to complete something by a deadline, own up to it and don't make excuses. If they have been left in a difficult position, tell them you can see why they are annoyed or frustrated and that you are eager to help them put things right.

Don't say " I understand how you feel " because people often react to that by saying " I don't think you do ".

Instead, say something like " I can see why this is frustrating for you. "

TIP SIX

If something has gone wrong, make suggestions about how to fix it. Don't get bogged down in how it went wrong, be positive about how you are going to make it better. Show that you are taking them seriously and say " This is what I'm going to do to deal with this."

Tell them exactly what you're going to do and when - and make sure you do it.

If you feel they're wrong, that they are making unfair accusations or blaming you for something which was not your fault, state your case calmly once they have settled down and, again, try to come up with a plan to deal with the situation which will make them feel better.

TIP SEVEN

Don't take it personally ( unless it is, of course ). Usually, if a client gets annoyed, it's not personal, it's because something has gone wrong and they are in a difficult position. That may or may not be your fault.

I watched the BBC version of A Midsummer Night's Dream last night, where Puck drops a love potion in Titania's eyes so that she falls in love with the next person she sees.

Sometimes, this happens in reverse. Something goes wrong for someone
and the next person they see gets the full brunt of their anger. If you happen to be the unlucky recipient, remember it's nothing to do with you, but you still have to handle it.

Don't take it as a personal attack. Deal with the situation, not the person.

TIP EIGHT

Remember that the way you deal with a mistake can lead to someone
becoming a committed client or customer of yours. We've all had problems with suppliers or service providers and the way they have handled the problems has determined whether we stayed with them or not.

Where someone takes your complaint seriously and deals with it quickly and courteously, you are probably even more likely to stay with them than if the problem hadn't arisen in the first place.

Train Of Thought offers training in all areas of communication skills to help you have more impact on the people you deal with every day. Why not visit the website for more information?

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