I'm not going to go into an explanation of what different body language means here, I just want to show how important it is for you to think about it. There are 4 main reasons for this.

First, you can't switch it off.

If you don't want to say something, you can always keep your mouth shut. You can't do this with body language. Your body says something whatever you do. If you decide to sit very still and be " neutral " that very position will convey some message to people who see you. Whether you engage or avoid eye contact, for example, will send out a message.

Secondly, body language is crucial to the impression you make on people. Think about times you have been on public transport. You get on a train or a bus and you have to find a seat. How do you decide who to sit near and who to avoid? It's something about the look of them, isn't it? You get a feeling about people just by the way they look and how they are sitting.

Thirdly, if there is some conflict between your body language and your spoken language, people will always, always believe the body language. If you know someone very well, especially someone you live with, you become amazingly attuned to their body language. You can walk into a room and instantly know if they are in a bad mood, even though you can't put your finger on it, you sense it immediately.

If you ask them " Is there something wrong? " and they say " No " do you believe them? Of course not. So long as their body language contradicts what they say, you'll believe the body language. You will also pay great attention the tone of their voice, which is another indicator.

Finally, you can use your own body language to trick your brain! Your body language usually follows from your thoughts or your mood. If you feel tired and bored, it will show in your posture.

However, you can play this game the other way round. By adopting a particular position, you can make yourself feel the emotions associated with that posture. Try sitting slouched in a chair, looking down at the floor, drooping your shoulders and making a sad face. It's impossible to think positive thoughts in this state. You will find that your mood actually starts to change after a while.

You can use this to help in some situations. If you're in a meeting which is dragging on and getting boring, you can wake yourself up by making an effort to sit upright, keeping your back straight, making eye contact with people and making an " attentive " face. You'll find that you suddenly become more alert. Your mind thinks " Hello, we're in alert mode " and engages itself.

But timing is everything. Don't wait until your head hits the table or it's too late.

The key point here is - don't ignore your body language. It's the main way in which people pick up messages about you. Whether you're speaking in public, sitting in a meeting or just having a conversation with one person, your body says a lot about you!

If you would like to organise training or coaching in communication skills, interpersonal skills or management, please give me a call on 0121 249 1306. I can run in – house courses anywhere in the UK and for any number of people. I can also offer one to one coaching, either face to face or over the phone.

Alan Matthews

Train Of Thought

Bringing Out The Best In People

0121 249 1306

Mobile: 07708 562 095

email: alan@trainofthoughtcourses.com

Website: www.trainofthoughtcourses.com